The Calm After the Storm
by soymilklatte
Summary: In the quiet hours after the battle. Doomsday fix-it.


Canary Wharf was exactly six hours, twenty-seven minutes, and forty-six seconds ago. Rose feels every moment. She is trying to focus on the positive and she is, she is happy that everything worked out, that the multiverse was saved, that Torchwood was stopped. That they beat the Daleks and the Cybermen. She is beyond thrilled about all of those things.

Mostly though, she is grieving. She is grieving for all that she lost today. She wants to know why, when she was fully Bad Wolf and could see _all that is, all that was_ that she had not been able to see this. Had she seen this and known that this was what must come to pass? And if that was the case, why? Why did she have to lose so much?

She is seated in a comfy, over-sized, chair in the library, the lights are dimmed, and there is a fire blazing. It gives the room a calming and relaxed atmosphere and she appreciates the aesthetic even though her heart is aching. Rose also cannot quite quell the feeling of relief. If such a horrible and permanent separation needed to occur, at least this was the way it happened.

A cup of tea enters her vision and she realizes, rather abruptly, just how far inside her head she had gone.

"I thought this might be welcome."

"It is," she hesitates. "Since we've bonded, I've always been able to feel you or sense you anyway."

"Okay?"

"Well, how come I didn't know you were in the same room as me? Is there something wrong with our bond? Did something happen?"

The Doctor gestured for her to shift and then he joined her on the chair. "Rose, you're hurting. I think you've just blocked yourself off a bit. The bond is as strong, unbreakable, and intact as it has been since we created it."

"So, it's just my grief?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry. I just wish I had gotten to say a proper goodbye to her."

"I know and you have nothing to be sorry about."

Rose tilted her head so that she could better look up at him. "Please, don't think that I am ungrateful. I am so happy to still be here. When the lever slipped and I had to let go, I knew there was a really good chance that I was going to fall but I had to do it. I couldn't just give up and leave the Cybermen and Daleks to destroy everything."

"Rose, you don't have to..."

"No, but I want to."

"Go ahead then."

"When I felt my hands slipping, I knew I was going into the void with them and all I could think was how much that was going to hurt you and how you would blame yourself for the rest of your life."

His arms tightened around her and for a moment he squeezed her so hard she couldn't breathe but he loosened his grip just as quickly and she leaned up and kissed him soundly before continuing, "When Pete appeared and suddenly I was in his arms I was relieved to know that no matter what, we would both survive the battle and then..." here she trailed off.

"And then," the Doctor prompted because they had not yet talked about this part of it and they needed to. It was the only way they would be able to suss out what had occurred.

"And then, I saw a golden light and heard singing, the most beautiful music. One minute I was standing before the breach caught in Pete's arms and the next I was in the console room. Somehow I had gotten back inside the TARDIS and I know she must have done something but I'm not really clear on what."

The Doctor sighed deeply, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest, "You already know that you called out to Bad Wolf and the TARDIS when you fell. Subconsciously, in your panic and undoubtedly mixed with mine, I think the TARDIS latched on to that and tethered you to her. I think what happened was that when you reached the end of the tether, it gave one final tug and snapped you back onto your side of the fence, so to speak. However, due to the momentum that had built up, rather then just pulling you back into the lever room with me, you were dragged all the way back to the TARDIS herself."

"Am I still tethered to the TARDIS?"

"Not in anyway that you would ever notice but, let's say, if a breach was to open and you were about to get trapped in another universe, yeah, she would be able to pull you back home before that could occur."

Rose kissed his jaw and rested her head back on his chest. His heartsbeat relaxing her for the first time all day. "What happened in the lever room after I disappeared?"

"Well, you fell, Pete caught you. Don't even know how or why he thought to come back across. Anyway, the wind and suction from the void was pulling everything in and I was screaming for you and holding on to my lever as best I could. Then there was a golden energy that I knew was from the TARDIS and you vanished when it covered you. I realized what must have happened as soon as I saw it but Pete looked terrified. I knew he had questions but the breach was closing and he never got ask them. He hit his dimension jumper and disappeared back to his universe, the last of the Daleks and Cybermen were pulled into the void, and that was it."

He paused for a moment to gather himself before continuing, "Once everything was over, I ran. As fast as I ever have back to the TARDIS. I knew you were inside. I could feel you through our bond and the TARDIS was reassuring me as well but I needed to see you. I needed to touch you, to hold you."

He fell silent then and the two of them sat quietly, breathing each other in and reassuring themselves that they made it. That they were still together. The universe had tried its damnedest to separate them and it had failed. There would be no goodbyes between them, not today and not for centuries. Not if they had anything to say about it.

The Doctor could feel that Rose was finally calming down. She was still hurting and would be grieving for some time but he would be there to hold her, to lend her strength, to love her, to help her through. He could sense through their bond that there was something she was thinking about and that she wanted to ask him but wasn't certain how to go about it.

 _'Rose, what is it, love?'_

She breathed out a soft, sad laugh when his voice whispered through their bond and she answered in kind, _'I was just thinking about mum. Thinking about Pete and if he told her what happened back in the lever room. I know she's sad and is grieving as much as I am but she must be terrified.'_

 _'Of that, I've no doubt.'_

 _'Well, I was just wondering if there wasn't some way to get a message through to her. Just something to let her know that I'm home, I'm safe, and everything is all right. Like a post card or something.'_

' _I don't know. I know there is no way for us to physically breach the gap but I could look and see if there is some way to send a message or a projection.'_

 _'It wouldn't hurt anything, right? I mean, I want mum to know that we're okay but not at the cost of the universe.'_

The Doctor smiled, _'No, love. The walls are still healing so there may still be some infinitesimal cracks that may be viable for what we would be trying to do. Tell you what, let's make a fresh pot of tea and have something to eat and then...'_

She started to interrupt him but he jumped back in before she could. _'Rose, I know you're not hungry. but it's been hours since either of us ate and we would probably feel better if we at least had some toast.'_

 _'Okay,'_ she conceded, _'but then we can look for a way to send a message to mum, right?'_

 _'Promise. I will get the TARDIS started looking for a way.'_

As they rose from the chair she turned suddenly and kissed him deeply. "I love you. I love you so much and even though today was a nightmare, I am so happy to still be here with you and the TARDIS. I feel horrible for saying it but it would have been so much worse if I had had to say goodbye to you."

"I know, love. I feel the same way."

Rose brushed the fresh tears from her eyes, "Okay, why don't you get started on the toast and tea. I'm going to go wash my face and get changed. Do you mind if we just go to bed?"

"Not at all. Go get your nightie on and I'll meet you in our bedroom with dinner after I get the TARDIS scanning for what we need."

When they entered the hall, Rose turned to face him, "Doctor, you don't need to worry about me so much. I will be okay. I'm sad right now and I will probably always miss my mum but if, when I was Bad Wolf, I saw today and could see that I would have to sacrifice some part of my life, I'm glad I chose this one to keep."

The Doctor was looking at her intently but this time, she continued before he could interrupt. "It's just, this way, she and I both get a chance for our happily ever afters and I think she and I both deserve to have that after everything that's happened. That's all I mean."

He smiled then, "I think I understand. You're not selfish or a bad daughter, Rose. And really, if you did manage to do this when you were fully Bad Wolf, then I'm incredibly grateful too because I cannot imagine my life or my home without you in it anymore."

He pulled her to him, kissed her softly, and hugged her tightly. "Okay. I don't know about you but I am exhausted, and that's not something I say often, so let's go do what we need to do because honestly, I just want to get in our bed, and hold you for, I don't know, the next century or two."

Rose laughed, "Sounds perfect. Meet you there."


End file.
